Selfish
by BrieZee
Summary: Fed up with what they've been dealt, two souls, on the edge of breakdown, have a chance meeting, and help eachother cope with hardships and doubt. INUxYYH Oneshot


**Selfish**

* * *

College? Who needed it?

Kagome sighed as this thought went through her head.

She didn't know why she lied to herself.

She didn't why she tormented herself with questions like that.

And didn't know where she belonged in time.

She sighed again as she huddled further into her coat and tightened the scarf around her neck. The walk from her university was a long and lonely one. She usually only passed a few people on the way, most of whom were too busy to speak. It was during these times that she contemplated her life and the troubles of it.

Her quest was finally coming to an end. They had gathered all of the shards, and the completed jewel hung around her neck, bumping against her chest at a steady beat. Yet Naraku was still at large. Coming into the care of the last remaining shards had come as a surprise to their group. They thought they had won. They would just make a wish and destroy the evil hanyou once and for all, but the jewel was far too corrupted to be purified with a single touch, and Naraku had slipped from their clutches.

She had thought something was wrong with her when the jewel became tainted again when her hand left it. The evil was just rooted too deep. It took her constant touch to keep it pure, and the longer it was in contact with her, the longer it took the evil to return. But return it did, over and over again. They assumed it was because Naraku was still alive. Because he had had it in his possession for so long that it was attuned to him. So he was their only obstacle now. Get rid of Naraku, and then it was time to make a wish.

Just as her quest was coming to a close, her friends seemed to be too. Miroku and Sango seemed to be connected at the hip. They would sometimes sneak off together for long periods of time. They fought back to back during battles. And Sango became the only woman hassled by a certain monk's cursed hands. But these episodes ended in giggles and then an unconscious monk. They barely had time for anyone but each other.

They were in love.

Shippo. Her little Shippo. Shippo wasn't little anymore. Although he was now the size of a regular human boy, and was far too big to ride on their shoulders anymore, he was almost grown. She didn't think so, he was still a child to her, but Inuyasha, _and _Shippo, were convinced otherwise. Shippo was growing up. He ran off a lot, and was often up to mischief on these excursions. A hard look had come to his eyes that she didn't like. It wasn't the wide eyed look a child should have, but then again, he wasn't a child anymore. His eyes weren't the eyes of someone who had seen too much or the eyes of one prone to wars. His eyes were the eyes of a kitsune. Always thinking of their next scheme, or prank, or misfortune they should choose to fall upon those unaware.

On returning from his side adventures, Shippo would usually have extra money, smell of alcohol, or looking bedraggled with a smile on his face. Her Shippo was going to break a lot of hearts. She had thought she would be taking care of him forever. She had looked up kitsunes in books and the internet in her spare time. She had read about kitsune magic, their maliciousness, their shape shifting, the curses they cast, pranks, thievery, and their sexuality. No, none of these things described _her _Shippo. Not _her _Shippo. But she barely recognized _her _Shippo anymore. All his jokes hinted at his true nature. She winced when he set his eyes on her. And she shied away at his toothy grins. He wasn't _her _Shippo anymore.

And then there was Inuyasha.

She sighed again and adjusted the strap of her book bag. Here was the real trouble. Inuyasha. He said he wanted her. Finally said he wanted her. The joy she had felt as they embraced and he kissed her so passionately. She had fallen asleep in his arms that night. Her mind at ease and her dreams sweet.

She frowned at the memory. Once so lovely, now a mere hindrance. Did Inuyasha love her? She liked to think he did. Hell, she would _love _to think he did. But there was a time when she caught him looking at her…and she couldn't see love in his eyes…she couldn't see anything. He had laughed at her and told her she was being dumb, when she had asked about the incident. She had put the incident out of her head. Maybe she was being silly, but then there were the nightmares. The nightmares were subtle at first, just stupid little nightmares that were more funny than scary. But then they started gaining momentum and depth, more reality fell in, things that were true and could actually happen. They shook her to her core, and they were all centered on the same scenario. Inuyasha only wanted her for the jewel. That's how they went, the jewel becomes complete, she purifies it, and then Inuyasha steals it from her enclosed hands and wishes. Sometimes he just wishes for strength, others to become a full demon, and some, some he wished for devastation. And all times, every time she would be at the center of it. Watching as their friends fell, as Sesshomaru toppled, the land destroyed, and she became a slave. She was always a slave for some reason. Never cast away, never killed, and always in chains, cowering from his greatness.

It was because of these dreams, that she was reluctant to tell him that the jewel was now stable. It had been strange; she now assumed that the jewel was attuned to her now instead of Naraku. She had felt an overwhelming rush flow throughout her body one night. The jewel seemed to thrum against her heart, until her whole body was thrumming to the same beat. Something had happened to her that night. She seemed to awaken, as if she had been in a daze her whole life. Her reflexes were faster, her senses seemed to be on full blast, and she was constantly aware of her power flowing just below her skin. She hadn't told Inuyasha any of this either. The nightmares were just too potent.

But when she was awake, none of it seemed true. Inuyasha was the same old Inuyasha, grumpy and rude. But he was still Inuyasha. The hanyou with kindness in his heart, and love hidden behind his lashes. Always there for his friends, and afraid of being abandoned. And she loved him. Loved him and hated herself for doubting him.

And then there was the matter of home. Her mom, grandpa, and Souta. She couldn't stay in the past when they were here in the present. She wanted to watch Souta grow up, she needed to be their for her mother who still needed her support, she never got over her father dieing, and grandpa…she couldn't leave grandpa unsupervised. But she couldn't bring Inuyasha here, when he belonged in the past, and what of her other friends, even if Shippo creeped the hell out of her now, she couldn't abandon them. Even if they had they already forsaken _her_. There was things tying her to both the past and the present, but maybe they weren't. Maybe she was just confused and upset at the supposed scenarios.

She faltered in her stride as a thought crossed her mind. What if the well stopped working? What if she became stuck in the past, or the present? What if, when the jewel was completed, she was sent back to her time, without a goodbye?

She stopped walking all together as a horrid thought hit her. What if she had to decide all by herself? She preferred the other things to happen than this.

She grimaced at the thought as she continued moving. She didn't want that responsibility on her plate. She wanted it all to work out on its' own. She would be sad one way or the other, but she'd get over it and live. At least she didn't have to decide. She'd just take whatever fate threw at her. It hadn't steered her wrong before.

But the wait of what was to become was still heavy on her shoulders. It made her doubt, it gave her nightmares about Inuyasha, and it made her want to give it all up. Everything from the quest, to Inuyasha and her friends, to her family. Give it all up for something so unrelated that she would have no choice but to go off course.

She smiled at the idea of it. What in the world could make her steer off from the dead end she was speeding down?

Nothing.

It was inevitable.

It was her destiny.

And she didn't want it.

So she ran.

* * *

What the hell was he doing?

He was doubting himself again that's what. He found himself doing that a lot. Whenever he got time to himself, whenever he ate, whenever he fought something, or someone, whenever he slept, and whenever he looked at himself in the mirror.

Yeah. He doubted himself a lot.

He looked back on all the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. He should had done this, if he could do it again he would do it like this, and if I could only do this.

He doubted whether he should remain doing the odd jobs for Koenma. He would forever be looking over his shoulder, wondering if Enma would be plotting to kill him. Wondering if there was something more out there that he could do. His life was starting to dwindle down. His friends, although still close, had lives of their own. Hiei was in the demon realm, Kuwabara had settled down for a normal human life such as Kurama. But he didn't want that for himself. He wanted more.

And most of all, he doubted his future, and the woman who wanted to be in it.

He roughly rubbed his face as his thoughts came back to her.

Keiko.

She wanted a normal life with him. She wanted him as her husband, she wanted him to provide for her, and she wanted children. Even with what he did, she wanted him. Knowing he was a demon she still wanted him. Why? Because she loved him. And he loved her.

He liked to think he did.

He loved her, cared for, would do anything for her just to make her happy. Even if he wasn't.

He loved what he did. He loved his friends. He loved Keiko. But sometimes, he didn't think he loved her as much as he should. As much as she deserved to be loved. Nowadays he thought he was only with her because he felt obligated too. Because she loved him so much. Because she had waited for him. Because she had kept him alive. Because she had been the only one to care about him when he was all alone. She was his first friend, his first love, his only love. But that wasn't much to go on. He thought he could love her more than he did. Like his love for her should grow, just as his love for fighting grew.

At first he fought for self-preservation, then because he was angry all the time. He fought for reputation, he fought for honor, and he fought for a living. He fought to save others, he fought to protect, he fought for his life, and he fought for the thrill. The exhilaration, the glory, the power, and just for the love of it.

Fighting was who he was. When he thought of himself, of what made him, he thought about a punk turned infamous hero. He thought of fighting demons and powerful beings. He thought of being a spirit detective and his powerful allies. He even thought of King Enma himself, being afraid of his power and being labeled as dangerous to all around. But Keiko wasn't who he was. He never thought of Keiko. Keiko the human woman who loved the demon, and he felt shame. Guilt.

He would have to marry her. Because he was who _she _was. She centered her life around him. She had no others to care for her. Who wanted to befriend the girl with the thug boyfriend? She had never loved another boy, because of him. No boy would dare touch her with him around. Without him she would crumble. He knew it, she knew it, and his friends knew it. She would mourn him to death if he left her. If he sought out his life with no connections to hold him back. She wouldn't move on. She would die.

"Damn it!" He cursed aloud.

It was a no win situation. She would break if he left her, but she would be in just as much trouble if he stayed. She, _and their family_, would always be in constant danger. In danger from enemies trying to get to him through her. Even if he was to quit, who was to say that they would leave them alone.

He wasn't vain, but who was to say that all the whacko's out there who had heard of his greatness would just leave him alone if he retired.

And then there was his demon heritage to consider. Keiko hadn't mentioned it or even asked about it. It was as if she was in denial, or just really had never thought about it. Did she accept him as one, or was she trying to fool herself. Maybe she didn't believe him. Would she act so nonchalant when they had children? If they had children? What if she scorned them for being Halflings?

No. Keiko would never do that. She'd love them no matter what. But she might resent him for it. She might even try to suppress anything supernatural in them. In fear that they might become like their father. But she _would _regret. He was sure of it. She would regret having him as her husband.

She would love and be loved. But she would regret what she would have done. She would have a husband who wanted to do nothing but to fight. _He _would smolder away, be but a shadow of his former self. She would wear out from his, _and their child_ren's, demon stamina.

He could see it in his mind's eyes. Future Keiko, old beyond her years, tired and weary, cleaning and cooking for a demonic household. Sometimes looking in fear at what he would become, at their children's antics. Alone, having to keep secrets from neighbors and friends. But what made it all the worse…she would still love him.

He hated himself. Hated himself for letting her fall in too deep. Hated himself for not telling her how he felt. Hated her for loving him so. Hated her for making him give up what he loved to make _her _happy. But she wouldn't be happy, knowing that he was unhappy. She would blame herself, and he hated her for that too.

Maybe he was being too sure of himself. Maybe she wasn't that dependent on him. Maybe she wouldn't fall to pieces if he left. Maybe she'd get over him, realize she's better off, and find a human boy to settle down with and love her like she ought to be loved. But he didn't have to guts. He couldn't be for sure that this would happen. Besides, where would he go? He had nothing and nowhere to run to. Human world was too small; nothing out there for him, and Koenma, his father, and his friends would easily find him in the demon realm.

They'd call him coward for running out on her.

He growled deep in his throat. They didn't know what he was going through. They didn't know what he wanted. Hell, he didn't know what he wanted.

Yes he did.

He wanted action.

He wanted danger and adventure.

He wanted to run away from it all.

So he did.

* * *

They ran.

They ran to escape, they ran for freedom, and they ran just for the sake of deciding something on their own. Deciding on something that didn't end in irrevocable consequences. This was something they could control. Something that wasn't so burdening.

They ran with disregard for they're safety. Full out, giving all they could. They ran till they're legs ached and their lungs became strained.

They ran till they sweated, but the cool air dried it as fast as it perspired. This was the first time, in a long time, that they could leave all their troubles behind and truly focus on what was good for them.

And that was stopping; they were near collapse.

But they couldn't.

They had to keep going or else the stress would return.

They had to keep going, they…looked up.

* * *

Breathing heavily, Kagome cast a cautious look up as she sensed someone else on the street. She just hadn't expected it to be a punk running towards her on the sidewalk.

Kagome stopped running when she saw him. Some thug, who would most likely rob her, so when she saw him running towards her, she stopped, in hopes that he wouldn't notice, but when she stopped , so did he.

He looked like he could be trouble, with his gelled hair and rough exterior. He stood only a few yards from her, but she could tell that he wasn't shy of fights, and kept himself fit. Fit enough to easily snatch her purse.

She huffed up her shoulders and adjusted her bags. She wasn't afraid of some punk, hell, she fought demons on a daily basis, and she'd show him that she wasn't some easy jacking.

Holding her head up , she took a step towards him, intent on letting him know that he didn't scare her; much. But as her foot took her closer to the thug, her heart suddenly seemed to jump out of her chest as her mind seemed to yell incoherently at her. She staggered back, hyperventilating, her soul screaming. Her muscles tensed up and she gasped for breath.

She didn't understand what was happening to her, until she looked up.

* * *

'_What's this?' _he asked himself as he caught sight of the school girl.

He stopped when he saw her. Just some ditz of a girl late for something stupid. Maybe she was late for a pedicure. He wouldn't doubt it, she looked the type. Only worried about getting tans, pedicures, and whatever the hell else girls like her did.

He leaned against the wall to give her space, besides; he was tired from his run. He knew what he looked like. She was probably scared shitless; why else did she stop when she saw him? He looked like a thug, hell, he _was _a thug. In fact, he was the baddest of the bad. Though it had been a while since he had been involved in a petty human brawl, his reputation still preceded him. He cocked a smile, hoping to scare her into hurrying out of his way, but instead she put on a brave smile, very convincingly he thought, and took a step towards him.

Then his world turned upside down.

Literally.

He experienced vertigo, and he felt as if someone was squeezing his chest. He stumbled and almost fell to his knees as an unbearable pressure seemed to slam down onto his shoulders. He felt his stomach do somersaults as he fought to stay on his feet.

"What the hell is that?" he growled, thinking an unknown enemy was close by, but as he looked up and around, he knew.

* * *

"YOU!" they yelled at the same time accusingly, but as Kagome yelled in confused annoyance, Yusuke was straight angry.

When the two had looked back at each other, they saw that they both were experiencing discomfort, but not only that. Both their auras were raging uncontrollably. Yusuke's, a blue vicious wind that whipped wildly around, and now snapping out at Kagome's pink wild fire, that blazed around her and threatened to consume Yusuke.

"What the hell are you doing to me?" he yelled as he charged at her.

"Me?" Kagome yelled in a slight panic as she saw the thug rush her. How could he accuse her when his aura was trying to beat the crap out of hers?

She looked around frantically, trying to find something to defend herself, which was absolutely nothing. Nothing but her own two fists, but as the thug came closer, and she sensed his demonic-ness, she cut off the panic and set up her resolve. How dare he? A demon? Attack her? On her own turf? The nerve!

Yusuke, who had only planned to shake the girl until whiplash set in, saw as the panicky and fearful girl vanished and be replaced by a seasoned warrior. He saw as she dropped her bag and set her stance, waiting, like he should have, for him to bring the fight to her. As he drew closer, he sensed something building up. Something dangerous and lethal that made the hair on the back of his neck stand on in.

He snarled at the foreign energy and so gathered his spirit energy into his fist, ready to knock some sense into this girl. She too, seemed to sense his nearness to attacking and her feet parted just the slightest and she pierced him with a steely gaze.

One.

Two.

Three.

They were upon each other…and they froze. Mere inches from destroying each other. Kagome felt the warmth of his hand, stopped just from connecting with the side of her face, her face aglow from his spirit energy. Just as Yusuke, found himself looking at the point of a pink arrow, making him afraid to blink or risk piercing himself on it. But for all the attention they paid to their supposed weapons of demise, they might as well had been leaves passing in the breeze. The two combatants only had eyes for each other.

They stood that way, silently, without moving, wondering, asking themselves why. Why had they stopped? Who was this person? Why couldn't they precede with the attack? And neither noticed how their auras mingled, mixing like oil and water, but not violently. Their auras were calm.

Kagome was the first to lower her arms, her bow and arrow dispersing as she regarded Yusuke with cautious curiosity. It took Yusuke only a second to follow suit.

The silence that followed was awkward as the two finally noticed their surroundings.

Kagome sneaked a glance at the stranger while he was accessing their auras. He looked like a punk. His face seemed to be etched in a permanent scowl, and his eyes were a hard brown, half hidden behind the bushiest eyebrows she had ever seen. As she looked at him, she noticed that he resembled Inuyasha, in the, _I'm grumpy, ill tempered, and annoying _looks department. She guessed she might have thought him cute, if she liked his type, but since he seemed like an Inuyasha, she must have. Yeah, she would call him cute, but that was it. Wasn't handsome, that was for sure. Although he was shorter than her hanyou, he still towered over her, and if she felt thrilled by that fact, it was just the adrenaline from almost killing him. Yeah, that was it. She didn't want to rub her hands down his chest and squeeze his biceps. Nope, that was all adrenaline, and maybe a little shell shock. And that part about seeing his pects pop was all imagination.

What was wrong with her? Blushing, she turned her head away and tried to put her thoughts together.

Yusuke thought he heard her gasp. And when he looked down at her, he saw the pink twinge to her cheeks and the slightly disgusted look of her face. _'The hell was she thinking about?'_

Just what he thought from afar. Just some preppy, stuck up little school girl. Who just so happened to have a kick butt tendency. Whichever one was the true girl, he didn't know. But if she was more the school girl, then she and Keiko would get along just fine. If Keiko would have continued to keep up with her friends, she was sure this girl would have been one of them. They had similar characteristics. Small stature, big emotional eyes, dark lashes, and pink, pouting lips. She was a bit curvier than Keiko, and her muscles were well defined, yet she was still feminine. Sensual. His eyes were drawn to her lips again and he had the urge to bite…huh?

'_The hell was _**I **_thinking about?'_

Awkward.

No one knew who moved first, but Kagome was suddenly flung up into the wall, where she was suspended there by Yusuke's mouth on hers. His kiss was rough and harsh, a painful rush of passion that had her clinging to him desperately. She tangled her fingers into his greasy hair; she'd be grossed out later, and grabbed a tight handful of it and yanked. The other hand clutched at his back and would have clawed it if he had been shirtless. While he devoured her mouth, he groped her thighs as she wound her legs around his waist, and just as she gripped his hair, his free hand reached up catch a lock of hers.

Wait! Who the hell thought that?

"My name's Kagome." Kagome finally said as she turned to look at him, holding out her hand.

"Umm, yeah, Yusuke." he greeted, extending a hand to grasp her, and as they met an electric current seemed to travel up both their arms.

"Something's going on here." he continued, flexing the hand that had grabbed hers, while she rubbed hers against her leg.

"Any idea what?" she ventured.

"Not a clue." he answered truthfully.

"Oh…well uh…this…this is…"

"Uncomfortable?" he offered.

"Yeah. Yeah that's what it is." Kagome huffed, as silence seared the air once again. "I…I didn't know…"

"What the hell are you?"

Kagome was stunned at the sudden interruption and the rudeness of his question. "I am a miko you ass. And what are you…some demon worm from hell? You know, besides you, I haven't sensed any demons in this time."

"That's because I'm the one keeping you safe at night from the big bad demons. Well at least I did?"

The anger and annoyance that Kagome was building up talking to him seemed to melt away at the weary, defeated look that crossed his face. It was the same expression she saw whenever she looked into the mirror.

"Oh. Oh you're just like me. What's troubling you? What do you need lifted off _your _shoulders?" She sensed a kindred spirit. Seeing that look on his face was a slap to her senses. It hurt her to see someone else looking so bleak, she thought that was only applied to her, and it filled her with hope thinking that maybe sharing her problem with a stranger, someone with no ties to her life, whom she would never see again, would give her some insight to her own situation. And perhaps let her help a soul in need, It was in her nature.

"What the hell gives you the idea that I have trouble on my shoulders?" He snapped, angry that this stranger was making accurate assumptions about him.

"Because I do. I'd recognize the look in your eyes anywhere." Kagome faced turned wistful as she sat down at the base of the wall and looked off into space. "I'll tell you my problem, if you'll tell me yours. I don't have any qualms about talking if you don't. Just admit it; you have something going on in your head."

Yusuke glowered at her, feeling resentment and unease about having a psych section with some unknown girl. But as she looked up at him, also willing to bare all to him, he felt a calm overcome him and found himself succeeding to her request. Huffing and rolling his eyes, he glanced around and saw that the road was pretty deserted. Shrugging he slouched down next to her, and if it seemed as if they were a bit close, than your crazy.

"Yeah, okay. I have a few problems, nothing I can't handle. What about you? And don't bullshit, me! You got something juicy going on."

Kagome laughed at him, the similarities making her scoot away slightly. "_My adventure _is coming to a close. I can feel the end coming, and with the end comes decisions that need to be made, and I don't want them. My decision is going to affect a lot of people, whether for good or evil, they're going to be affected. My decision can either destroy the world, or not even make it shudder." She sighed and took a deep breath before continuing. "I've been traveling back in time since I was 15. Me and a group of misfits led by an irate hanyou. Fighting evil demons and gathering the pieces of a magical jewel. One piece of the jewel gives the one with it extraordinary powers, or merely enhances their own tenfold, but the entire thing, as a whole, grants wishes. We think that once the wish is made that the jewel will disappear or become useless."

"So what's the problem? Seems pretty easy."

"Yeah well. Our number one nemesis, wants the jewel for evil purposes, obviously, but, sometimes I don't think he's the only one. And then that comes to my problem. Or problems I should say. Should I give the jewel to my friend, and hope he does good by it, when I fear he won't, or should I keep it away from him and give it to someone else. And then I have many great friends in the past…"

"But they're in the past and you're a future girl."

"Exactly. So who should I abandon…my family here…or my family back then? Inuyasha has given me no reason to think he'll do evil with the jewel, but I have nightmares that are just a bit too specific."

"_You like him_." Yusuke accused with a grin.

"I love him." She declared, smiling at her beloved hanyou. "He said he loved me too, but sometimes I can't believe it. Like he's just telling me what I want to hear so that he could get the jewel. And just like I said, he's done nothing to make me think these things about him, it's just the dreams, and once I caught him looking at me…with a blank stare…and I thought…I thought people who were in love carried that look with them always."

"Do you know what he wants to wish for?"

"Most likely he's going to wish to be full demon, but I think he's fine the way he is. But that's what he always wanted, and the jewel was sort of promised to him for that purpose. But I've seen what happens when he turns full demon, he's bloodthirsty and savage. Always hating himself afterwards. In my dreams, he's exactly like that, except…except he's conscious of his actions. He knows what he's doing and enjoys it. He takes out all his anger, and he's a very angry puppy, and vents it into this evil overlord act, and I'm his slave. Always a slave. Even before the dreams. I was just the shard detector. But in the nightmares I'm just a slave with less benefits. _Or_, he could make the wish and he's cool with it. I don't know. Saying it all out loud doesn't make it seem as bad, but it is. All that, and much more, is riding on my shoulders. My decision will decide the if's and maybe's. And I don't want it. It's too hectic. I'll have to suffer in someway no matter what I choose. Abandon one family for another, become a slave, or contribute in the destruction of the world."

"Damn." he muttered with a sympathetic shake of his head. "You're screwed."

"Yeah. Yeah I am. My quest is ending, and I don't want it too, and then because of this crap, I wish I never fell down that well in the first."

"What the hell does falling down a well…"

"I just want something to happen that'll fix everything for me. Just so I wouldn't have to decide, and I would be glad. Something out of my hands. Sure I might have a drastic change of lifestyle, but at least I didn't have to make the decision myself."

"Are you done yet?"

"I wish I was. But you can go ahead."

"Good. I guess I'll just jump right in."

"You're going to tell me your story?" Kagome asked, surprised.

"Did I not just say that I'm going to jump right in. Okay, now all of my problems orbit around my…girlfriend…I guess. I love her, I do, but not how she loves me. She was my first friend, she stayed by my side, no matter how much I tried to push her away, she _tried _to keep me in school, she was proud to be my friend when my reputation as a…hoodlum, spread and attracted any and every thug around to try to beat me, _never happened_, and she brought me back from the dead. Shut up, don't ask questions, and just roll with it!" He suddenly snapped as her mouth fell open in alarm.

"I died, _a few times,_ but the first time I pushed a little boy out of the way of a speeding car. That's what kept me from burning in hell, I like to think, but as I was saying, she showed that she loved me then by kissing my dead body…"

"Gross!"

"…_and reviving me! _Didn't I say shut up? When I came back to life, I was assigned the role as Spirit Detective."

"What's a Spirit Detective?"

"_What the hell is a miko? _Did I interrupt you when you left me clueless? No. And I guess a Spirit Detective is sort of a policeman for the spirit world. You know keeping the three worlds safe from evil demons and humans bent on destroying or ruling over it. But this is about Keiko not my former job…go ahead!" he snapped seeing how she wanted to ask another question.

"_Three _worlds? And why _former _job?"

"Spirit, human, and demon worlds! And former job because I got fired!"

"What did you do?" she asked, smiling shrewdly at him.

"I became a threat." he growled, giving her a toothy smile.

"Oooh! Okay, you were saying, after you became the spirit cop…"

"I was away a lot, fighting demons, protecting mankind and the likes. Doing what I like doing, which is fighting. But after every mission, she'd still be waiting for me. She never dated anyone else, and association with me has left her kind of…friendless."

"Hanging with your demon boyfriends and their friends will do that to you." Kagome muttered knowingly.

"Oh so it's a common?" he asked sarcastically.

"Happens more often than you think."

Yusuke stared at her face for a second before continuing. "She loves me. And I love her too, but she wants more from me. She wants marriage and children, and though I'm not a spirit detective anymore, I still have enemies. Someone could be out there plotting to kidnap her now for all I know. But she doesn't seem to grasp the fact that being with me puts her life in danger. That having children with me and a marriage will make her regret in the end. Regret not having a simple, normal life. Our children will be little bastard, demon children. She'll get old before her time. She'll wear out, and I'll…" Here he hesitated.

"You'll what?" Kagome prodded.

"I'll die on the inside too! I can't take living normal, not after what I've been through! I can't get a regular job, I have a rap sheet, I can't provide for her, and I can't sit at home and help raise kids! I'll go crazy!"

"You want your adventure to continue." Kagome added wistfully. "But what can you do? You want to keep going, but what _else _can you do? Your job is done, there are no more villains, your friends are moving on…"

"Friends! Oh don't get me started on them!"

"Exactly! But they have lives of their own. No more time for you. Some are even starting to creep you out! Some get involved and settle down together. And some disappear. Where _did _Kouga go?" Kagome whispered as the thought of her wolf admirer suddenly crossed her mind. "What happened to yours?"

"There were four of us. Me, Hiei, Kurama, and Kuwabara! We did all the missions together. We got stronger together. We fought and got the crap beat out of us, together. But Hiei, he was full demon, split and stayed in the demon world, Kuwabara; he's human, left me for school. Can you believe it? He quit beating the shit out of evil for _school_! And then there's Kurama, who's…complicated…"

"Complicated?"

"Yeah…he's…" Yusuke struggled for the right words. "Well…there was this Kitsune, named Youko Kurama, who was an infamous thief, and he was mortally wounded by this hunter guy, and so he possessed the body of a baby still in the womb, who the mother named Shuichi Minamino, and the guy I know is Kurama, who is the _mixture, _I guess, of the demon and human baby and so…that makes him…"

"Complicated. Oh I get it."

"Yeah, well, Kurama, he's playing human and working for his step dad's company now, sickening. Waste of a demon. And so that left me, no longer spirit detective, and Keiko, who saw my unemployment as a sign to settle down ourselves. And I love her enough to do it, it's the least I could do for her."

"You feel obligated!" Kagome realized.

"Right! You know, maybe, and I don't want to sound corny or junior high, but maybe if I could get away to another world, or dimension or something, get away from all the normalcy…"

"Start over somewhere else, start another adventure!"

"…Yeah, I love her, I wish she felt the way I did, felt what I felt when I fought. If she was a bit more kick ass, like you, then yeah, I would marry her in a hurry. And we'd roam and kick ass together. But she hates violence. She hated what I did. And she'll hate what we'd become if I stay. But _I'd _hate what _she'll _become if I stay. So you see my problem? I'm stuck."

"Yep, sucks to be you." Kagome stood up and stretched. "I'm just going to destroy the world. You're going to break a heart, and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

"You're a lot of help!" Yusuke snapped as he jumped to his feet, fighting the urge to touch her arms as she stretched them close to his face.

"What about you helping me? _'Oh, you're screwed.'_ Now _that _was a big help!" Kagome's annoyance cooled as Yusuke burst out laughing, the deep, throaty sound of it sending shivers down her back. "Which means…there's no help for us. We just have to play with the cards Fate has dealt us."

"Yeah…it's a crummy hand…but it's all we got."

"Right. Besides, I might _not _end all humanity and one of your bastard, demon children might rip open a portal to another world for you."

"Hey, could happen!" he said enthusiastically, but the cheer in his voice didn't reach his eyes, nor did Kagome's upbeat voice crack the dread on her face.

"Well, see you round, delinquent." Kagome said with false cheer, managing a weak smile as she gathered her bags and began to head home.

"Yeah, good luck…with the total destruction and all." Yusuke replied, his face and voice somber as he began to head in the opposite direction.

"Not like we could really do anything, if we had the chance." Kagome yelled into the air, fingering the jewel around her neck, knowing he was still in hearing distance by the pull of his aura on hers.

"Nope. That would be really selfish of us, if we had the chance." He answered back, already feeling colder with her presence dwindling.

They walked a few more feet in silence before stopping again.

Why were they the ones always giving up what they wanted? Why couldn't they just throw down their crummy hands and be dealt a new one? Who was to say they didn't already have a trick card in the old hand? Maybe this was their opportunity to dish it out? This couldn't be just a coincidence, their meeting. Not with the way their auras, no, the way their souls were attracted to each other. They had the reasons, and they had the means to start their own adventures together. Leaving problems behind and starting new ones. But that would be selfish of them.

They took another step and stopped.

But what was wrong with being selfish every now and then?

They looked and their auras flared wildly once again.


End file.
